I spent today really unwisely. After taking the last five days in recovery from this months treatment (rough, since I fell asleep without reminding the nurses to keep the rate of infusion slow) I woke up to a gorgeous clear skied, sunny day, a clear head and lots of possibilities (relatively speaking at least). So what did I do with those possibilities? I cleaned the house. I vacuumed and dusted. And as the sun set while I finished cleaning the bathroom I began to feel not just dumb crazy tired but a creeping sense of irritation which has sat with me the rest of this evening. I feel restless, frustrated and craving something more life affirming than house chores, hospital, medication taken on time and illness. Why would I use what precious little energy I have on house cleaning? While sometimes the decision to bring life to order via a messy house is just what I need and actually does make me happy, is actually the best use of my energy - today not so. It's a hard call. In hindsi…