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Sucked In By Billie Bones.

Have you seen Billie Bones on TV yet? He's a plastic skeleton delivered to your house bone by bone in weekly instalments alongside a magazine booklet full of interesting facts about the human body. Suitable for young kids. Aimed in fact at young kids. Probably mostly six year old boys like the one in our house. I was oblivious until Billie's elaborately packaged skull turned up to the house the other day with my mother. Archie had somehow spied it in the local newsagent and told his Grandmother all about the fantastic series you could collect and guess what? This introductory offer of skull and magazine - which comes with a life size poster of Billy and all twenty of Billie's teeth which you get to insert yourself  - is yours for only $2.95. That's right, you heard correct. Only $2.95. Trouble is all instalments after that are $11.95. So if you end up collecting all of Billie's bones to build his life size (six year old) skeleton plus his vital organs you will have forked out $320.
I had to sit Archie down and explain that that would not be happening. Luckily Archie understands the concept of things being "too spensive" and we settled on getting the next instalment so that Billie could have his eyeballs and brain and then leave it at that. Imagine our upset then when we get the next lot and it contains the two eyeballs but only the right hemisphere of Billie's brain. Turns out the left hemisphere is going to cost another $11.95. Maybe, I say, Billie can just have half a brain. He will be very creative without any reasoning skills. No, says Archie, you can't have half a brain. Well, I say, the human brain is very amazing and can sometimes compensate for parts that have been lost. In fact researchers estimate we only use up to 10 % of our brain anyway and that the cells we do use are very adaptable and  plastic. And in Billie's case actual plastic. No. Archie's not buying it. He shakes Billie's skull and the lone hemisphere rattles away inside.  I can't say I blame him. We need closure. Billy needs closure. We commit to installment 3. That's it though. I swear.


Ruby-Robin said…
Poor Billy...and only $ could you say no lol! Oh the decisions parents have to make.
Michelle said…
oh we saw those ads too and were thinking about getting it for the 'science' queen in the house. My God - $320!! Thanks for the warning - we'll take a miss on the old Billie Bones!
Getrealmommy said…
such a racket. DOn't think we have Billy around these parts, I think I am glad! Seems kinda creepy anywys.
stuart & joyce said…
what a mug i am we fell for this and are now up to issue 37 how do you tell a child no more and how many more are there

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